How to Start Loving Yourself Again (Even After Being Hurt)

You loved with your whole heart. You showed up. You gave. You tried.

And then, something broke — maybe it was a relationship, a betrayal, a season of loss, or a slow unraveling of your self-worth over time.

Now here you are… wondering how to pick up the pieces and learn to love yourself again.

If that’s where you are right now, I want you to know this: you are not broken—just bruised. And bruises heal.

Let’s talk about how to return home to yourself.

Why We Struggle to Love Ourselves After Being Hurt

When pain comes from people we’ve trusted or seasons we’ve survived, it doesn’t just wound our hearts — it shakes our identity.

You start to question your worth, and you blame yourself. You build walls to protect your heart, but sometimes, those walls end up keeping you out, too.

And somewhere in that chaos, self-love gets buried beneath survival.

But here’s the truth no one tells you: loving yourself again isn’t a luxury — it’s your lifeline.

You don’t have to wait to be “healed” to begin. You start where you are, even if your voice shakes and your heart still hurts.

The Truth About Healing No One Talks About

Healing isn’t always graceful. Sometimes it’s ugly crying on the floor. Sometimes it’s setting boundaries that make people uncomfortable. Sometimes it’s sitting in silence and feeling everything you tried to avoid.

But healing is holy.

Because every time you choose yourself, you rebuild what someone tried to tear down.

And the truth is — you’re not starting over. You’re starting wiser. You’re starting stronger. You’re starting with your eyes open and your heart in hand.

How to Start Loving Yourself Again

1. Give Yourself Permission to Grieve

Let yourself feel it. Stop rushing your healing.

You’re not “too sensitive.” You’re human.

Write it out. Scream into a pillow. Walk it off. Cry in the shower.

Grief is the body’s way of saying this mattered.

2. Stop Apologizing for Who You Are

You don’t need to shrink to fit someone else’s comfort.

Stop watering yourself down. You’re not too much. You were just around people who weren’t enough for you.

3. Reintroduce Yourself to Yourself

Who are you when you’re not pouring into everyone else?

Try new hobbies. Take yourself on solo dates. Read books that light you up.

Start rebuilding a relationship with the version of you who’s been waiting to be seen.

4. Speak to Yourself Like Someone You Love

Would you talk to a friend the way you talk to yourself?

Catch those inner thoughts. Rewrite them with compassion.

Instead of “I can’t believe I let that happen,” try, “I was doing the best I could with what I knew then.”

5. Surround Yourself With Softness and Strength

Let go of people, spaces, and routines that drain you.

Choose healing environments.

Let everything around you reflect love, whether it’s your bedroom, music, or morning rituals.

Try This Journal Prompt:

✨ “What parts of me am I learning to love again, and why do they deserve that love?”

Affirmations to Anchor Into:

• I am worthy of love that doesn’t hurt.
• I am allowed to take up space and protect my peace.
• I honor the woman I’m becoming.
• I don’t chase closure—I give it to myself.
• I am safe with myself.

Soulful Close

You’ve made it through things that tried to destroy you.

You are not weak for wanting to feel whole again.

You’re powerful for choosing to.

And no matter how far you feel from that place of self-love, it’s never out of reach.

Start today. One gentle choice at a time.

You don’t have to prove anything to be worthy of love, especially your own.

If this resonates with you, share it with someone who needs it.

And join my newsletter for weekly reminders like this.

You’re not alone in this.

With love and healing,

Rah